


Catharsis

by Frangipanidownunder



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 17:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13506573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frangipanidownunder/pseuds/Frangipanidownunder
Summary: AU where Mulder and Scully meet Chris Carter





	Catharsis

“Did you cuff him, Mulder?”

“Not yet. Thought I’d give you the honour, Scully.”

He hands her the cuffs and she swipes her tongue over her lips as she digs a heel into the lower spine of the perp. She twists it, once, twice. She grabs a handful of wispy white hair and whispers into the man’s ear, “you might think you’re pretty clever, but you’ve never really grown up. In your mind you’ve made yourself this godlike creator, a man who dreamt up two characters who, at the time, set the standard for a changed dynamic on television.” A satisfying click followed by a grunt. “But times change. They move on. Characters grow, develop.”

“You don’t understand,” the man says.

Mulder rolls him over with his boot. “What is about feedback that you just can’t take? Did mummy always tell you that you were the best ever boy? Did daddy always go to work and expect his pipe and slippers ready on his return? Did the first girl you ever ask out turn you down for the school jock and then you found out she wasn’t a virgin anyway so you had a lucky escape?” Mulder yanks the man up and pushes him towards the wall. “Go on then, Scully. Do it.”

“But I made you. You can’t do this!”

“Shut the fuck up, Chris.”

“Scully doesn’t swear. She’s a lady.”

Mulder grabs his chin and squeezes. “She’s a woman. Strong, independent and has always deserved so much more than you’ve given her.” He shoves the man’s head back against the wall.

Scully drags the chairs out, pulls at the desk, slides the drawers around, rearranges the shelves and finally, with a flourish, pulls out a work bag. From it, she withdraws two items. And a power drill. She places on the desk a nameplate with her name. “I like the desk here,” she says. It gets the light and you can move around it easier. Plus, you can bend me over it from all four sides now. What do you think, Mulder?”

He grins. “You know what I like, Scully.”

She switches on the power drill.

“What are you going to do with that?” The man’s eyes dart around, from Scully to Mulder and then to the floor.

The whirr fills the room. She lifts it up and revs it against his ears. “Give this story the ending it deserves.”

She walks out the room and Mulder keeps his forearm across the man’s throat. “This is catharsis, Chris. This is the moment where the character whose life you fucked up, can finally begin to heal. It’ll be a long road, but there are some brilliant writers out there who’ve already started to fill in the gaps you left, to correct the mistakes you made, to make sense of the dumbass mythology that you made up as you went along because you couldn’t be bothered to keep a show bible.” He leans in and the man gasps. “Did you know that some of these writers have even had Mulder and Scully fucking since the first case? They saw the chemistry, they capitalised on it.”

“But they’re shippers. They don’t know anything. They’re…all crazy.”

Mulder brings a knee to the man’s groin, enjoying the pained groan. “Blue balls hurt, Chris.”

The drilling stops and Scully returns, blowing her hair out of her face. “Done,” she says.

Mulder grabs the man by the collar and pushes him out of the office. “Read it and weep, Chris.”

On the door, is a nameplate and in large gold lettering, the name: HRH Special Agent Dana Scully MD. It sits above the original nameplate, Special Agent Fox Mulder.

She smiles at the man, who is whimpering, eyes red with tears. “You see this, Chris. Mulder always bottoms for Scully.”


End file.
